ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
Literature Text
Epiphany of the Student Drivers
(A Parody of Sweeney Todd's "Epiphany")
The wheel was there beneath my hand,
it was there and it will never come again!
Easy now--hush, teen, hush--don't distress yourself; what's your rush?
Why didn't I wait? You told me to wait!
Now I'll never drive again!
The road is a hole like a great black pit
And the road's filled with people who are filled with shit,
And the vermin of the world inhabit it!
...but not for long...
We all are going to die!
Tell ya why, student drivers, tell ya why!
Because in all of the whole human race, student drivers,
There are two kinds of drivers and only two:
There's the ones that brake in the improper place,
and the ones that speed like they're in a race!
Look at me, student drivers, look at you!
No, we all are going to die!
Tell ya why, student drivers, tell ya why!
Because the drives of the wicked should be made brief!
For the careless, death will be relief!
We all are going to die!
And I'll never see graduation,
No I'll never wear a diamond ring...
FINISHED!
All right, number five, how about a drive?
If you're lucky, you'll come back alive!
But do
you know
the statistic, five*?
The screech of tires...
The stench of burning fuel...
The road will have YOU!
Hahahaha!
And we will all perish
even as we hope!
in the meantime
the road will devour
a dozen more!
Though you nearly have a permit...
And you'll never see a shiny license...
But the road waits...
It's a real killer--
And hungry for you!
*"five" refers to the statistic that one in five teenagers will die in a car accident
(A Parody of Sweeney Todd's "Epiphany")
The wheel was there beneath my hand,
it was there and it will never come again!
Easy now--hush, teen, hush--don't distress yourself; what's your rush?
Why didn't I wait? You told me to wait!
Now I'll never drive again!
The road is a hole like a great black pit
And the road's filled with people who are filled with shit,
And the vermin of the world inhabit it!
...but not for long...
We all are going to die!
Tell ya why, student drivers, tell ya why!
Because in all of the whole human race, student drivers,
There are two kinds of drivers and only two:
There's the ones that brake in the improper place,
and the ones that speed like they're in a race!
Look at me, student drivers, look at you!
No, we all are going to die!
Tell ya why, student drivers, tell ya why!
Because the drives of the wicked should be made brief!
For the careless, death will be relief!
We all are going to die!
And I'll never see graduation,
No I'll never wear a diamond ring...
FINISHED!
All right, number five, how about a drive?
If you're lucky, you'll come back alive!
But do
you know
the statistic, five*?
The screech of tires...
The stench of burning fuel...
The road will have YOU!
Hahahaha!
And we will all perish
even as we hope!
in the meantime
the road will devour
a dozen more!
Though you nearly have a permit...
And you'll never see a shiny license...
But the road waits...
It's a real killer--
And hungry for you!
*"five" refers to the statistic that one in five teenagers will die in a car accident
Literature
Synonym
"Really, Watson. Do you plan to stand there all day?" Holmes grabbed a pair of trousers from the near-by chair and stepped haphazardly into them, rather enjoying the way Watson turned his head away non-to-subtly, trying to hide the fact that he was blushing most profusely.
"Not at all, Holmes. I rather wish, though, that you would stop walking around the house naked."
Having successfully pulled the trousers up and fastened them so that they would not fall back down, the detective straightened up, a smug grin on his face. "I wasn't walking anywhere."
Watson rolled his eyes. "You know fine well what I meant."
"Why are you so adverse
Literature
Disillusioned
The world seemed to be in the regular habit of testing John's patience. Often to the very limits of it, trying the prim lines until they gave away, and there was nothing left but to do something.
Listening to Sherlock talk was one thing, but watching him talk was quite another. Every lip-bite, every flicker of tongue licking away coffee was another push, another poke, and the buckram of longanimity started to fringe rapidly, irreversibly, the unravelling creating another force altogether.
"Sherlock."
"What?"
It was as if time itself had enough respect towards the last frail threads holding John together, since apparently it had slowed dow
Literature
Mine
Mine
(A/N: Why Watson REALLY didn't get a wink of sleep that night. R&R!)
According to his pocket watch, it was one-fifteen a.m. when Watson felt Holmes's weight fall against his left shoulder and it was precisely one-seventeen a.m. when his partner's light snores drifted to his ears. He sighed and thought about shaking him but he found that he quite enjoyed the warmth that chased out the cold clamminess of the prison yard; and for all the trouble the detective caused, Watson didn't really have it in his heart to disturb him. He guessed he wasn't going to sleep that night.
He could feel the warm breath ghosting across his back and he su
Suggested Collections
Featured in Groups
This is a parody I wrote while in Driver's Ed (OH THE HORROR!) It is written from the view of a student driver, a parody of the "Epiphany" from "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street." I do not own the song, nor the musical!
Please enjoy the insanity.
Please enjoy the insanity.
© 2009 - 2024 DragonmageAuthoress
Comments24
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In